Saturday, December 4, 2010

My Boys

The past week has come and gone and I have been on the go we do not have a dishwasher and I am a worry horse I worry about every possible thing to where it consumes me and I become paralyzed with sadness or just stress I spend all day cleaning and every night I depend on my husband to snap me out of it...he tells me I am the best wife and he constantly tells me how much he loves me how he works so hard because he WANTS me to stay home with the boys he feels safe knowing I am taking care of them and it warms my heart my husband and I have been so close lately and I hear the most cause of divorce and strain on a marriage is due to worry about money and even though we worry and sometimes it gets really scary my husband and I get closer with our worries and I have been so happy with him he is truly my best friend I stay up late just to see him and see how his day was to tell him I love him and that I am so proud of him every night but with all the stress I carry through the day I find myself spending all my time cleaning trying to make the house "clean" and I feel best when it is all done and I find I can think and relax but it is never done and by the end of the day I am wondering how I could do this to myself to the boys just get consumed with cleaning I have not spent any one on one time with them tonight my baby asked me to please just stop cleaning and relax he told me he loved me and he was very sorry for being so mean and I told him I was sorry for forgetting to spend time together the past few days and he fell asleep it hit me like a ton of bricks I am done stressing about my house I always have fun with my boys and I make it a priority to spend quality time with them but the past week has been terrible I feel like such a bad mom how could I let the little things get to me and forget about my beautiful little boys I thank god for them they are blessings and without them my world would fall apart I needed to vent and this is what this is but what I will promise to do is to forget about the house every once and a while and say screw it if I have to set everything aside to spend time with the ones I love I will life scooped me up and took me for a ride but I am truly blessed to have my boys I love you Brandon,Cadon and Ryan you are my heart and I will never let a day go by without letting you know how much you mean to me

Spend as much time with your little ones your family because the day goes by fast and years go by faster so enjoy the quality time and make memories that will last forever!!!